Height & Light Blog

Play by a different set of rules

Latest Posts

Are You Provoking Change?

If you hang in there and coach someone for any length of time, you'll reach a moment where you're completely frustrated with the pace of change. You will feel like you have banged your head against a wall and it just won't budge. The person is stuck, frozen. And you...

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Feedback Anxiety

Quick quiz: How many professionals go out of their way to get feedback? I don't have a scientific answer to this question, but here's my very strong experience-based hunch: very, very few! Part of my standard coaching approach includes setting up consistent feedback...

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Tough Feedback

And now for some of the most challenging parts of coaching a colleague: the tough feedback conversation. Let's face it, this is why so many of us don't like to coach. It's bad enough that you're investing in someone who may or may not make dramatic progress. It...

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The Dog Ate My Homework

In a recent post, I talked about using homework assignments to gain traction when coaching a colleague. A while back, a client asked me this question: What do you do when the person you're coaching hasn't done their homework? This client of mine is an immensely...

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Gaining Traction

Do you ever feel like you're working harder than the person you're coaching? Like you thought they were committed to taking an action and somewhere between your conversations, their tires slipped? Don't despair and don't give up. Anyone who has coached for more than a...

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The Most Powerful Feedback

Judy lives one block from my house. For nearly ten years, I have walked by her house, played with my children in the park across the street from her driveway, and even occasionally greeted her in passing. But until recently, Judy spooked me a little. She is getting...

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Get In Position

As a young professional, I got very lucky. My first manager was perhaps the most natural coach I have ever met. Most of anything good I've achieved I owe to him - he gave me opportunities, believed in my ability far more than I did, and spent time with me. He also...

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Focus, Focus, Focus

So let's say you've gotten started on the right foot in your coaching work. You've anticipated questions the colleague you're coaching might have about this shift in your relationship and you've answered them credibly. You've watched for typical reactions to engaging...

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Press hard, there are three copies

Like anything new (baseball seasons, for example), coaching relationships usually begin optimistically. I'm assuming here that both parties are engaged in coaching voluntarily (ie they aren't hostages!) and that both people have at least a basic level of respect for...

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Into the deep end

A couple of years ago, I got the crazy idea of wanting to compete in an Olympic distance triathlon. I had competed (I use that term loosely) in slightly shorter triathlons over the past ten years, but wanted to up the ante. The leg of the event that I most feared was...

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