One of the joys of having a DVR is that I generally watch commercials at warp speed.  Admit it, you do too.

But I was in a hotel last week and thus without my friendly DVR so I noticed an ad that quickly had me wondering if it was real or an ornate spoof.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you the 30-second toothbrush.  Apparently, in their Great Recession-inspired frenzy, Americans no longer have the recommended 2 minutes to brush their teeth so the fine folks at 30-Second Smile got to work on our behalf.  (This reminds me of my other favorite personal hygiene trend – the multi-blade razor.  I’m waiting for the day that Gillette brings a 12-blade razor the size of a waffle iron to market.)

I’m no math genius, but if you brush your teeth the dentist-ordained twice a day, this could yield 3 minutes of time savings every day.  Over the course of a diligently-brushed year, this would save you – hold onto your teeth! 18 hours and 15 minutes of brush time.  (In leap years, you’d chalk up 18 hours, 18 minutes. One more reason to celebrate Leap Year!) Don’t even get me started thinking about how much time you’d save by the time you need dentures.

Kidding aside, what does it say about us that someone thinks this would appeal to a significant segment of the market?  Are we in such a rush that we can’t spend four minutes a day doing this simple ritual?  What are we going to do with those fragmented 90 second bursts – update our facebook status to say that we just saved 90 seconds brushing our teeth?

Here’s a different idea.  Take the full two minutes.  Call it what it is – a stewardship ritual, taking care of the teeth you were given at birth by no merit of your own.

Even better, use the morning brush time to think about one person (a customer, colleague, employee, supplier) you can serve outrageously today.  Use the evening brush time to be thankful that a) you have teeth to brush, b) you came through the day and have another chance to serve and be served tomorrow.  For extra credit, you could try to identify someone who did something you appreciate.  They’d probably love a text (and yes, u cn omit vwls 2 save time if u must).

Oh, and maybe we should all resolve to double-check our pitches to see if they pass the giggle test. Sometimes enough is enough.